Thursday, August 31

THREE

James sat in his room that night. He didn't turn on his computer, he didn't put on any music and he didn't even touch his guitar. Proping his head up with his elbows, he slouched at his desk and examined the note he had received that day.

Hey James, how are you? I'm mokay I guess. Notheng is reeally happening in my life, justt the samme all stuffe, you know? I was wondiring if I could borrow you're history notes on the Frennch revolution. Mine has gaps all over the place. It nether get any neeter either. Are you going okays witth the english essay thats duu on mondday? I would have thouyht so, your arghuemants are allways welll thought oat. I haventt started yet, but I'm sure it'll be allright. Yuu are ann awecome pershon James. Don't change, not for anyone. Well, I'll see you round sometime.
Sarah.

He read it through a few times and then scrunched it up and threw it in the bin. He wondered why Sarah would need to put her real message through coded mis-spellings. and why she had put that corny ending on it. She could have said a million things to substitute the "unch" in but she didn't. Maybe something really bad had happened. He shook his head and turned on his computer. Soon he was lost in a world of artificial violence.
James and Sarah had been friends since year seven. They had both been dismissed from the reading classes because they had already read all the books for the year in a space of four weeks. So they were trusted enough and left unsupervised in the study hall to do any extra work they needed to get done. Sarah didn't really like James at first as he came across as a dull kid with little interest in anything. She thought it was surprising that he had read all the books in the same amount as she had and was slightly suspisious of him. But one day he spoke up out of the silence that they had sat in nearly every period they'd shared in the room.
"You know, I'm not really as boring as you think I am" he said with his head down, still scribbling away in his note book.
"What?" Sarah was taken aback "I never thought you were boring."
"Oh sorry," he looked up "I didn't mean to accuse you, but you never tried to make conversation with me so I thought you were boring and didn't want to talk to you. But then I thought you could be thinking the same thing about me. I seriously can't stand the silence, can you?"
Sarah stared at him and then blinked.
"Yeah, it's almost haunting. Sorry... I was thinking that you were kind of dull" She let out a feeble laugh.
James laughed, but a real, strong laugh.
"So you like music?"She asked.
"I think EVERYONE likes music. I've just started learning how to play guitar but, I'm not very good. Nothing like the awesome Led Zep."
"Ohh... my dad has one of their albums... they're ok"
From then on they talked in study hall and occasionally outside, although not enough for people to get any ideas. Neither of them really wanted gossip going around about them. But that didn't stop anything.

Wednesday, August 30

TWO

"On the gooood ship, lollipop! it's a niiiice trip, with a lollipop! and sail away, and eat and eat all day!" Sophie merrily sung, swinging her mother's hand and skipping as they walked through the shopping centre.
"Are you sure they're the words Soph?" her mother smiled.
"Oh yeah! I heard it on TV and there was this girl and she was singing and she had this huuuuuge lollipop. It was soooo big she could have hid her face behind it" Sophie stretched out her arms to show her mother how big it was. "Can I have a lollipop Mum? It doesn't have to be big. It could be this big. Or this big or this big or this big or this big or this big or even a tiny, whiny one." She moved her hands in until they were nearly touching.
Her mother laughed.
"Will you be my super-duper helper with the shopping? 'Cause super-duper helpers can have any lollipop they want from the shop."
"Yeah! I'll help you mum! I was even going to do that anyway because you have to do a lot of shopping and I've grown taller so I can reach the froot loops and everything! Don't you think I've grown Mum?"
"Of course I do. We can even measure you up against the wall when we get home."
"Oh wow. Can we use the sparkerly pen? Or the purple one! Yeah! The purple one is pretty"
Her mother grinned.
"I like the purple one too"
"Oh... I wonder what flavour lollipops they have... I think I want the red one 'cause they make my tongue go all red, even though my tongue is already red, it makes it go even redder! Thanks mum!"
"No problem super-duper Sophie"

Tuesday, August 29

ONE

"i think you're misinformed," Claire stuttered, "I... didn't .. i never said that you were a bad p...person"
"yeah, that's right. you said i was a controlling bitch!" Mary slapped Claire across the face. "How could you say something like that??"
"I didn't say that..." Mary whispered, falling to her knees, clutching her cheek.
"Oh yes you did! You worthless piece of shit! Do you understand what it felt like to be hearing from Brendon that he didn't want to be with me because... because..." Mary's mind raced ahead of her, throwing rationality out the window. "... because you told him that i was controlling! You said that he wouldn't get anywhere with me! Do you know the hurt and shame i felt, having to listen to that shit?! DO YOU?!"
Claire just stared at the floor, clutching her cheak, wimpering softly.
"Ha," Mary scoffed "You couldn't even comprehend it, you've never been in love, you've never had it stripped away from you... how could you? you unsocial, useless shit. You won't even look at me. How pitiful!"
Claire looked up at her, eyes sparkling with moisture, her hand still plastered to her cheek.
"I think I understand more than you do Mary. I know why Brendon dumped you. yes, i think you like to be in the lead, but i would never say that you were a bitch, let alone a controlling one. Please Mary, calm down."
"Why should I calm down?" Mary screamed, and then collapsed next to Claire.
She lay in silence for a few minutes, Claire didn't move. Then Mary rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling with her face scrunched up.
"I want to be strong... i don't want to cry... and if i calm down... i will..." she said through clentch teeth.
"It'll be okay... I won't say anything" Claire whispered.
Mary crawled over, lay her head down on Claire's lap and poured out all her sorrow while Claire gently stroked her hair.
Claire looked down at her hand, her jumper sleeve had risen up slightly, unveiling a bloodied bandage, but Mary didn't see. Claire pulled her sleeve back down and didn't say anying, hanging her head slightly.
"When did you start talking so much anyway?" Mary questioned softly, "you wouldn't have said anything like that a year ago..." she looked up at Claire "...thank you"
Claire smiled.
Good evening.
I've been quite flooded with homework receintly so i've been off swimming in paper. but for the next seven days i will post a random, very short story. they aren't necessarily linked or continued or complete. they could be the start, an ending or something inbetween. just something to fill the past with. to fill this post with. so enjoy, and if you don't, don't.

be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr Suess

oh and i got a haircut. fun.

Wednesday, August 16

i think something's changed. i acknowledge that things are always changing (and that 'acknowledge' is an ugly looking word) and it's not always a bad thing, that we should embrace change for without it, we wouldn't be here. we are only humans today as we know it because of mutations in the DNA of our ancestors (we're studying natural selection in biology). Horray for society, pity i don't feel so proud. Anyway, the change. I think it's a perspective change, but i'm not sure. i consider myself reasonably open and aware of the other views out there and so when i cross over from knowing the point of view to having that point of view it can be extremely subtle. It's not usually the whole "oh i shall cleanse my old self and start anew" dramatic thing with me. So when a thought changes from "i'm so bored right now" into "but i'm thankful for that, 'cause it means nothing bad is happening", i almost feel worried. its the type of thing that you could have thought heaps of times but weren't paying attention to your own thought patterns. it's also the type of outlook i'm sure i didn't have a month ago and you're all probally going, "uhuh, good for you but, it's not that big of a deal, why am i suposed to care?". Well you don't have to care, and i don't mean that in a neglected-teenage-angst way, more of an understanding "oh well" shrug of the shoulders.
I feel better right now and so i think i will leave you to surf your merry way around the world wide web. don't loose your swimwear in the current.
peace out

i think that it's brainless to assume that making changes to your window's view will give a new perspective. (Blacking Out the Friction - Death Cab for Cutie)

Saturday, August 12

i've finished work at bakers delight. i'm done, gone, i'm outta there. i quit bascially because i wasn't managing my time well between work and study. although i had my last shift and going away dinner on last saturday it hasn't sunk in until today where 11 o'clock (which is the time i used to start on saturdays) came and went and i didn't have to ready get for anything, do anything or go anywhere. it was nice. relaxing. now i can knuckle down on homework, i haven't been on much reciently because of homework and it still seems to be piling up. well now is the best time to start shovelling through the wads of paper. well, hope the dog doesn't eat yours.
peace out crew, may the wind fill your sails.

Wednesday, August 2

anger, sadness, disappointment. the course i really wanted to get into at melb. uni has been cut. bachelor of science/bachelor of teaching, gone, wiped, no longer avaliable. now, its either that course at monash where they throw you into schools in your first year or deakin. or i could do a science degree and then a DipEd anywhere. gah!
*bashes head against wall*.
i really wanted that one, my number one choice, now i can't even get rejected by them. they still have double degrees with arts and teaching. so why get rid of the science/teaching? why would they do that? isn't there a shortage of science and maths teachers? don't we need young, capable, intelligent teachers trained up to fill in the gaps when our aging staff reach they're well deserved retirement? is this just a plot to just get me to do straight science? now i feel like a bit of a snob because i'm acting like it's the only good course out there. but i really, really wanted to do that one. it sounded exactly what i wanted to do.
gargg, argg, grrr, aklgh, eoihf, weitfhx...
*sigh*
another bend in the road perhaps.

chill out readers, but don't get too cold.