Wednesday, March 30

arg... its another day. another day where I can't find myself. Who am I? what am I? Why am I asking these questions? I know who I am, but I don't feel it. Like I know I'm never alone and someone will always be there, but I don't feel it. My heads like "what are you on about? of course you're not alone, you're never alone", and I'm like "but... I don't know... I feel alone..."
Every doubt comes from my heart and not from my head and its terrible. thats not the way it should be! I don't want a fucking doubting heart! I want doubting knowledge, not doubting faith and feelings.
I want to get off this emotional rollercoaster, I thought I could manage, but that just shows I couldn't stomach it.
bleh! *throws up*

Oh how I loathe these days,
that are tainted with dispear,
and the everlasting fear,
that I'll wake to find no one there...

Monday, March 28

her body is sprawled out on the ground,
her eyes have rolled into the back of her head,
you can see the blood coming out of her mouth,
tricking down onto the floor, turning the carpet red...

you're not sure if she's still breathing,
you're not sure if you can stand,
you're not sure how you'll ever remove,
her blood stains on your hands...

yeah... thats right, I know you killed her...
that her is me...

Thursday, March 24

Wooohooooo, theres a quiz! I finally made a change to the links sidebar! and there's a quiz! About the toons on and
ITS COOLIES! as a good friend of mine would of once said... but I don't see them anymore...
this song is for you....
"I'll be there, to give you all the love you need... and I'll be there, you can always depend on me..."

Sunday, March 13


Sunday, March 6

yeah its time again for a decent blog. But I fear I might not be able to deliver such richness in thought as the good ol' days of 2003 and 2004.
Things have changed, not just the last number in the year, but a lot of stuff. My perspective, my language, my thoughts, the way people talk to me and life in general has just spun around three times, touched the ground, jumped up and relised that it isn't the sane. woah.. I wrote sane instead of same.. think I'll leave it like that.
You're probally thinking something like "VCE does this to everyone", "Its called being a teenager, get over it" or "yeah me too, so what?". I would say the same thing but as soon as it becomes my life, my problem then it suddenly becomes very important. I know everyone goes through it, but as soon as I started going through it I couldn't imagine anyone else going through it. (through it, through it, through it, is that even how you spell through?)
My mind's eye has hit roadworks and can't get around them. Not really enjoying the wait while other people decide my life for me. *sigh* bugger.
lost anything else worth saying... not like anything I have means anything to anyone but me, probally won't be read by anyone but me.
this bites
love Frances
(grey are my thoughts, grey are my feelings, grey is the sky today, and the truths it is revealing)

Saturday, March 5

its not worth it, its not worth it, can't you see, the cause is worthless, it's worthless, it will never be, worth the trouble, worth the pain, or be anything to me...

Tuesday, March 1

I could be mean, I could be angry, you know I could be just like you. I could be fake, I could be stupid, you know I could be just like you. You thought you standing besides me, you were only in my way, you're wrong if you think I'll be just like you...
I'm sick of being a friend to those who aren't a friend to me...