Tuesday, January 24

sorry its taken me a while to get back to this, you know, holiday excitement, full to the brim... i'm joking, i've been doing shit all and i just didn't know where i wanted it going or if i wanted it going at all. anyway.

"wow.. circus" Jorge said dull-ly as they walked onwards.
"yeah talk about fun times" Asnick answered sarcastically
"Atleast the sun's out now," he looked up, his hair moved to the sides of face, Asnick could see a cut running over his temple and finishing near his stubbled chin "cloudy though"
She couldn't help but looking at the cut, the skin around it was bruised a yellowy-purple colour. It looked like it was infected. He turned to look at her.
She was a little suprised by his eyes, they seemed so empty in the darkness, but now they had taken on a hazel/green tinge to them and looked dreamy even. Asnick shook her head, don't start thinking about this guy like that! what would josh think? oh garg, josh probally doesn't know or care where i am, and according to that deants prick, he probally will never again. but if he does...
"Oh... you have this cut along your face... it looks really bad and infected"
"Serious? I can't feel anything..." he lifted his chained hands to his face and flinched as he touched it. "ahhh, not good, ah, stings, shouldn't of touched it."
"Maybe they have like a first aid tent at the circus, i'm sure they would have a doctor or something."
"I don't know if i want to go there... that deants shithead keep screamming about it... and i don't know... i think we shouldn't ask any of the circus folk for help" he hung his head slightly, his hair covering his face again.
"and what if they ask us if we need help, me like this," pointing to the gaffa tape on her cheek, "and you like that we would really stand out"
"I think we should just pass it, if someone asks if we need help, we'll accept, but if not we'll keep going" he paused and was about to say something else but stopped.
"Okay... but if he was talking about the circus then maybe its a clue for me... how i can get my life back..."
"no... i don't think thats why he was yelling at me about it"
Asnick stopped walking, annoyed that Jorge was tip-toing around the point. Jorge stopped a few steps ahead and turned around.
"Oh alright" he sighed, exhausted as if he'd been holding it in for to long "a year ago my dad was murdered and a month later my mum ran off with a tamer from a circus that was in our area at the time. the police came over on the same she left demanding to see her because she was number one murder suspect. I didn't know where she'd gone, i was in my own world at that time, no one else mattered. did i meantion he was killed in my room? I woke up with him there. just lying there, missing his legs and eyes and" Jorge's eyes glazed over for a second "... and so circuses don't sit well with me." He half smiled.
Asnick just stood there, her mouth opening and closing but no words coming out. A more cliche writer would say she was like a fish out of water. How could he smile at that? is this guy a good actor or just so used to covering up lies that... oh my goodness. Her eyes swelled.
"Hey? What? don't you do that!" He said, noticing the tears balancing on the edge of her eyelids. "It was ages ago, i'm a big boy now... well... minus the toliet training bit." and he did that half smile again.
A lump formed in her throat, that she tried to swallow down but persisted to push upwards until the words she felt she'd regret came out.
"how can you smile at something as morbid as that? are you insane? don't you feel?"
The feeling swamped her stomach, she hated macho guys so much, they always pissed her off with the whole "i'm a man so of course i'm strong" bullshit. But she thought Jorge was different, he had cried before and felt so... fragile. maybe he's not fragile... he's broken, she thought.
"Um... well because its an automatic response for me i guess. like i'm so overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions about it that my only way of dealing with it is pushing it down and smiling. psychologist all over the country would be slapping me saying, "bad boy", but saying things out loud just doesn't help me" he did the half smile then stopped himself, "so i probally am insane"
Asnick was speachless, no guy had ever talked to her so openly.
"Yeah, sooo..." He attempted scratching the back of his head but failed, copping the metal chain in the forehead. "Haha, ow, well, onwards?"
Asnick finally found the words she wanted. "Yeah, okay. But... can I hug you first?"
"Aww, haven't you done that already?" Jorge joked
"I guess I have... but hey, it's not like you can stop me, bondage boy!" And she grabbed him around the shoulders and pulled him in. Once again he fitted perfectly. She smiled. He smiled. It was a moment that was shattered by high pitch laughter rolling over the hills.

[horray, everyone loves clowns, eh heh heh]

Thursday, January 5

my head hurts i want to stop thinking i want to stop it now now now now now now can you stop it for me please i would really like it if you could its for a good cause but then again i might be more amusing if i didnt have any sanity who needs sanity anyway who needs sanitary napkins anyway a bullet wound would go so nicely with my fashion statement dont you think do you think at all you can have my thoughts anyday if you want sure here have them take it i want to go home but home is no where two houses and no home is no way to live but who said i was living anyway i cant wait for school to be back school can be my home sounds good enough fo me i shall be as swell as the corpses burning in hell horray for morbid fantasies

with friend like these why get real ones
my daydreams are so much nicer in balck

Monday, January 2

maybe continuing...

Asnick noticed that Jorge was limping slightly.
"Are you okay?" She asked
Jorge turned to face her with those eyes, those dark pits, if eyes were the window to the soul then he mustn't have one. But the warmth that came from him, and the humour in his voice proved that there was something still alive inside. Maybe he has just seen too much. she wondered.
"Yeah, I should be fine. just my leg hurts a bit, a lot really. but it should be okay. Maybe... maybe everything will be..." he paused and they smiled slightly "so what's your story?"
"My story...? i don't know... i woke up in this house-shed thing, i don't know how i got there. i was so scared, my hand was hand-cuffed to a bed frame and something was bashing on the roof making it rattle... but who ever cuffed me left the key just in reach, which was weird, i think they meant for me to escape... well, i pinched a torch and some extra batteries and ran. i miss that torch... wait" she stopped and looked around "i lost the torch... um... oh well, it was stuffed anyway. I'd been following a track, for what felt like hours and the torch went out. i tried to find the batteries but they were gone and all that was there was this note.." she handed the note to Jorge, not like he could read it at all, but she just thought she should and kept walking "i wandered blindly through the bush for a while and eventually spotted a street light that was on this road. and then i kept walking.. who ever put me here is going down."
Jorge didn't say anything, he was serching for something in his pockets. Asnick took this as a sign to keep talking.
"That note is seriously twisted, it says that i'm no one now, well thats a big change" she added sarcastically. Jorge was still filtering though his pockets. "What are you looking for?" she asked.
"My pen light" he waved the note and pulled out a piece of paper. "what the? bastard must've taken my torch, i'll see if my watch light is strong enough"
It was hard to read the notes with the watch light, but it worked well enough to get the jist of what it was saying. Asnick felt slightly uncomfortable holding Jorges wrist over his piece of paper. There were cuts and bruises from the chain which she was sure would be hurting like hell, but the thing that made her uncomfortable was a thin scar running almost half-way up his forearm. She tried to ignore it.
Dearest Jorge,
Isn't it funny when people get lost in themselves for so long the don't relise they don't know where they are? where are you Jorge? can anyone reach you? if someone does then you will live, but if not you'll die here. i hope someone comes, but after a while you most likely won't. enjoy the ride.
sincerly Defious Deants.

Jorge went a bit stiff. Asnick felt awkward, and thought that maybe she should have let him read it by himself before she did. But it was in the past and there wasn't anything she could really do.

"I'm sorry... i should have let you read it by yourself first... Jorge?" Asnick stopped and looked over at Jorge who was a few paces behind shaking.
"Jorge? Jorge! are you okay?"
she ran over to him, she hadn't known him very long and he smelt bad but she hugged him all the same, trying not to hurt his back. He just seemed to fold into her, fitting perfectly in her arms. suddenly the night's events flooded asnick's head and every pore ached. it was then, the first time in years, holding this fragile boy that she cried. her silent tears rolled down her cheeks and she didn't fight them back like she normally would. he couldn't see her tears, and she couldn't see his, but both could feel that they were united in this insane, overwelming and depressing place. That they both wanted so much to wake up from this nightmare, but knew that they couldn't.
It was within this moment that the sun decided to emerge on the eastern horizon, turning the blackness to grey, and revealing a circus ground in the distance. neither asnick and jorge said anything, they just broke the hug and kept walking, heads down, towards their futures...

[woah, this is finally getting somewhere, horray, *author happy dance* i hope you like it or are atleast interested]

Sunday, January 1


Asnick's scream echoed through the darkness, bouncing back at her from various angles. She clasped her hand over her mouth and focused on the body, or the person, hanging from the wire. Jorge moved again.
"erg..g.g.. can.n.nnn yo p..pp..easss... ellp mee..." he whispered weakly,
"Oh god!" Asnick answered startled, removing her hand from her mouth "i'll try, ahh, what do i do? do you have anything to cut this wire or... the tree or.. or i could untwist this wire around the tree... and it should..." she began untwisting the loose end of the wire. He was mumbling about something but she couldn't understand him so just ignored it. She really wished he didn't smell so bad, it was making her eyes water and made her want to hurl. Asnick untwisted the last twist in the wire and let go. Jorge fell to the ground with a slight squelch-thud. the end of the wire whipped around the tree and slapped Asnick across the cheek, opening the flesh. She put pressure on the wound and swore, it was oozing blood like there was no tomorrow, maybe there won't be, she thought. Jorge was sqirming around on the moist ground trying to sit upright, but his gaffa-tape bound feet and chained hands made it very hard.
"Thank you," he mumbled "would you... be able to get this... tape... off... you can use it.. to... to... close the wound... i tried too tell... you about.. the wii.. the wirr... about it"
"ok, i'm Asnick by the way. who are you?" she asked politely, kneeling down in the filth, tried to cover her cheek and block her nose with the same hand as she found the end to the tape and ripped it off.
"It's Jorge... and sorry about the smell... i was shit scared.. ha.. aren't i funny?" he said dryly
"yeah, you really really do smell bad, what happened?"
She pulled the last bit of the tape off and attempted to stopped the bleeding from her check. it kind of worked, she just worried about infections.
"i woke up at the top, this guy kicked me around a few times yelling about circuses or something and then just... pushed me down, i hit a few trees, i thought i was going to die... and then i was just left here and.. well.. couldn't go anywhere... my pants feel really bad... i really thought i was going to die, thank you..."
"all i a days... er.. nights work.. how long ago was this?"
"it feels like days... if my watch is still correct.." he glanced down "its about three days, but it could be stuffed. this darkness is really getting on my nerves. i must have been uncontious during the day or the sun hasn't risen for three days. maybe thats why there aren't any birds. my wrists hurt. and my back for that matter."
ignoring Jorge's complaints, Asnick wondered whether the sun would ever rise again. Would it be able to melt away the terrible feeling that was growing inside her gut?
"We should keep going," She suddenly stated, "suposedly i have limited time, it could of passed already and i wouldn't know it" She got up and offered a hand to Jorge.
"What about my hands?" he stumbled slightly as he stood.
"You don't need them for walking, and unless you know of anything around here that could break them then i would rather keep going"
"Me-yeah, guess... you haven't got any food on you do you?"
"No I don't, now come on smelly boy, i'm sure there'll be a tall stack of pancakes waiting for you at the end of the rainbow."
"you need light to get a rainbow" Jorge answered, almost happily, staring at the sky. "Those stars look pretty"
"They sure do..." Asnick replied, not quite sure why she bothered. But the stars did look quite beautiful.
"where are we going?"
"i don't know smelly pants, but i guess we'll eventually get there.. maybe..."
and they set off down the road, to who knows where....

[I don't know if i want to continue with this... i can't see it going anywhere, but neither can the characters so maybe there is still hope. Happy new years chaps! chappy new yeahs haps!]