Tuesday, January 24

sorry its taken me a while to get back to this, you know, holiday excitement, full to the brim... i'm joking, i've been doing shit all and i just didn't know where i wanted it going or if i wanted it going at all. anyway.

"wow.. circus" Jorge said dull-ly as they walked onwards.
"yeah talk about fun times" Asnick answered sarcastically
"Atleast the sun's out now," he looked up, his hair moved to the sides of face, Asnick could see a cut running over his temple and finishing near his stubbled chin "cloudy though"
She couldn't help but looking at the cut, the skin around it was bruised a yellowy-purple colour. It looked like it was infected. He turned to look at her.
"What?"
She was a little suprised by his eyes, they seemed so empty in the darkness, but now they had taken on a hazel/green tinge to them and looked dreamy even. Asnick shook her head, don't start thinking about this guy like that! what would josh think? oh garg, josh probally doesn't know or care where i am, and according to that deants prick, he probally will never again. but if he does...
"Oh... you have this cut along your face... it looks really bad and infected"
"Serious? I can't feel anything..." he lifted his chained hands to his face and flinched as he touched it. "ahhh, not good, ah, stings, shouldn't of touched it."
"Maybe they have like a first aid tent at the circus, i'm sure they would have a doctor or something."
"I don't know if i want to go there... that deants shithead keep screamming about it... and i don't know... i think we shouldn't ask any of the circus folk for help" he hung his head slightly, his hair covering his face again.
"and what if they ask us if we need help, me like this," pointing to the gaffa tape on her cheek, "and you like that we would really stand out"
"I think we should just pass it, if someone asks if we need help, we'll accept, but if not we'll keep going" he paused and was about to say something else but stopped.
"Okay... but if he was talking about the circus then maybe its a clue for me... how i can get my life back..."
"no... i don't think thats why he was yelling at me about it"
Asnick stopped walking, annoyed that Jorge was tip-toing around the point. Jorge stopped a few steps ahead and turned around.
"Oh alright" he sighed, exhausted as if he'd been holding it in for to long "a year ago my dad was murdered and a month later my mum ran off with a tamer from a circus that was in our area at the time. the police came over on the same she left demanding to see her because she was number one murder suspect. I didn't know where she'd gone, i was in my own world at that time, no one else mattered. did i meantion he was killed in my room? I woke up with him there. just lying there, missing his legs and eyes and" Jorge's eyes glazed over for a second "... and so circuses don't sit well with me." He half smiled.
Asnick just stood there, her mouth opening and closing but no words coming out. A more cliche writer would say she was like a fish out of water. How could he smile at that? is this guy a good actor or just so used to covering up lies that... oh my goodness. Her eyes swelled.
"Hey? What? don't you do that!" He said, noticing the tears balancing on the edge of her eyelids. "It was ages ago, i'm a big boy now... well... minus the toliet training bit." and he did that half smile again.
A lump formed in her throat, that she tried to swallow down but persisted to push upwards until the words she felt she'd regret came out.
"how can you smile at something as morbid as that? are you insane? don't you feel?"
The feeling swamped her stomach, she hated macho guys so much, they always pissed her off with the whole "i'm a man so of course i'm strong" bullshit. But she thought Jorge was different, he had cried before and felt so... fragile. maybe he's not fragile... he's broken, she thought.
"Um... well because its an automatic response for me i guess. like i'm so overwhelmed by thoughts and emotions about it that my only way of dealing with it is pushing it down and smiling. psychologist all over the country would be slapping me saying, "bad boy", but saying things out loud just doesn't help me" he did the half smile then stopped himself, "so i probally am insane"
Asnick was speachless, no guy had ever talked to her so openly.
"Yeah, sooo..." He attempted scratching the back of his head but failed, copping the metal chain in the forehead. "Haha, ow, well, onwards?"
Asnick finally found the words she wanted. "Yeah, okay. But... can I hug you first?"
"Aww, haven't you done that already?" Jorge joked
"I guess I have... but hey, it's not like you can stop me, bondage boy!" And she grabbed him around the shoulders and pulled him in. Once again he fitted perfectly. She smiled. He smiled. It was a moment that was shattered by high pitch laughter rolling over the hills.

[horray, everyone loves clowns, eh heh heh]

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