i'll clench my teeth and say that i'm happy, i'll look up and see the sun is shining, on everyone but me. i'll close my eyes and say that i'm happy, i'll open them to find that everyone's gone, i am left to me. i'll put my hands in my pockets and say that i'm happy, i'll look at the ground and kick at the dust, this is what is me. i'll hold my face in my hands and mumble that i'm happy, i'll sit down in the dirt and stare at my shoes, as this is only me. i'll take to my feet and run, whispering that i'm happy, i'll pound my feet on pavement and try to keep my breath, go where my feet take me. i'll hit a brick wall and say absolutely nothing, every cell is screaming for oxygen and i'll remain silent, as i'm sick of me. emotions sour my eyes and i'm not in control, rushing blood meets my head and my head meets the ground, happiness just isn't me...