Wednesday, June 29

horray! got back from central australia yesterday. it was soooooo good. We bused quite a lot, but excluding the night trips it didn't feel as much as tasmania did. Our bus broke down 3hrs from coober pedy in the middle of nowhere. the turbo was at the end of its short life. that was at like 1am and we had to wait til 7ish for another bus from coober pedy to come and take us there. Trev (bus driver) had to hang around with the bus until they got a tow truck or something and drove it down to adelaide fixed it and then he had to drive express to coober pedy from there. (coober pedy is the opal mining town with all the residence living underground for anyone who wanted to know.) we missed out on the "bush camp" because of it but that was okay because few ppl were looking forward to going to the toliet in a hole. so instead we express'd trip to yurala overnight, meaning we got there in the morning instead of at 12ish in the arvo, which meant people got to climb Uluru in the morning. I didn't climb thought because I think its disrespectful to the aboriginal culture. Ms Benson compared it to someone building a huge cross, letting people climb all over it and take photos of each other on it, isn't really respectful to the religion/culture. anyway, we then went to The Olgas or Kata Tjuka I think is the proper name and did the "Valley of the Winds" walk which had this awesome view at the end of it. Unfort. the 2 yr ten students that came didn't get to see it coz cameron started feeling really sick and dizzy half way and katherine "fell" down three times and her leg was "hurting" (she got some good bruising but it wasn't as bad as she kept telling everyone, you'd see her walking fine and then she'd see/hear ppl and then she'd start limping really odviously and sometimes swap legs and it was really suss. The teachers suspected she was faking it but its not like they could of gone "you're faking it, get over it"). and so Mr Clarks wife, Kirsty, missed out on the view too because she had to stay back with them, which is quite sad/annoying bacuase she's been wanting to go to central since she was in high school but there were too many people on the trip, and so never got to go. And so to miss that view was a pretty terrible thing. But she did get to do the whole Kings Canyon walk, (three and a half hours =S) while Ms Benson stayed with Katherine (whos leg still "hurt"), (Benson had to stay because it was her decision, kinda, to leave Kirsty behind to look after the yr tens while everyone continued up. which was "insensitive" which is what she (benson) told me, but she said it in a way that made you feel like thats what she'd been told, anyway) Kings Canyon was AWESOME! the Garden of Eden was sweet and even though you couldn't swim in it at the point of time it was just so... traquil. peaceful, quiet (if you excuss the noise made by our group) and just nice. and we had to where silly hats which was just my fortay. (i misspelt fortay there, if you don't know what i'm talking bout its like"my type of thing", or "speciality") after kings canyon we went to glen helen's gorge i think it was called, (we're going to the gorge because its "gorge"ious, ha ha *hangs head in shame*). and then to alice springs and i'm getting abit tired of writing so the story's losing detail as i go on, sorry. um... at alice springs we got to shop! yay! shopping! we also saw the "sounds of starlight" which went through music with the didgeridoo and history of a few music stuff. the next day we went to the desert park which was pretty cool, in which i saw the "nocturnal exhibit". which was a major thing for me at that time coz it was the last thing on my highway bingo sheet. On these bingo sheets were 24 things you had to see, you had to get a cork and a colourful shoelace and predict the amount of milage we'd covered when you said bingo. and guess what? I WON! WOOO! it was down the Jo, Kirsty and I and so the winner was just out of the predicted milage. I guessed 3090km, we'd covered... wait for it... 3063!!! how cool am i? I know, i'll sign you all autographs after I finish this blog. Well what I got for winning was $40 to spend on a soovy (souverneir, is that how you spell it?) at alice springs, in which I had 20 or so mins to choose because it was sunday and all the shops closed at 2 and we were running late because at the desert park, our student teacher Mr Parks (i think thats his name, i don't really know because we just called him "Parksy", so it could of been Parkenson or Parkson or Parkseria or anything, anyway) went to the toliet and when he came out everyone had gotten on the bus and was waiting and he didn't know where we were. I ended up getting this really mint framed photo (ha I used the word mint, mint!(its like hot, ha, double brakets! mint!)) of Uluru which everyone was sure was digitally inhansed but still is awesome. On the last night we had a party which used the money that was raised from the "swear box" (jar! it should of been a jar! 'box' doesn't fit write) and the auctioning of slaves. swear box had 3 main $1 words (fuck, cunt and slut. ahhh! thats $3!) and then the rest were 50c. crap wasn't a swear word though, and it was doubled if it was in a public place, (arg! this is a public post, so that means it $6! arg!). and the slaves came about with lost property. If you left something out over night and didn't collect it by the next morning the teachers would claim it as lost property, take it up and on the bus it would be returned to you, with the price of your freedom for the day. People would bid for you to be their slave for the day. which was quite amusing. I never was a slave and never bidding for a slave, so I still feel morally okay with myself, promoting slave labour *shakes head* how could they? lol, jk, it was in good humour, you couldn't get your slave to do your rostered chores, but most were subject to giving massages, carrying bags, washing dishes and amy had to spoon feed kate dessert which i thought could of been risky for kate, but it was a-ok. Also on our morning bus runs we had the "dummy awards" in which someone was nominzted and then we'd decide with the good ol' cheer-o-metre. The first was naomi for believing toby's, jamie's and my story that there was a bridge to Tasmania, and I can't remember anymore except CN's for folding up his tent with his wallet still in it. the "Dummy" of the day had to wear a lanyard with a dummy on the end of it all day and was given three "dead ants" opportunities. When "dead ants" was called, everyone, including teachers, had to lie on their back and wave their legs and arms in the air. This was quite embarassing as most ppl chose to do say it in a public place, or had to do it in the dirt. yeah, I think thats about it. Its lacking paragraphs, sorry readers for my ungramma-fied writings. mm, soz. but I have to add something personal to this. I felt really alone during most of this camp, and not because I was excluded or that people were mean to me or anything, I just felt like I didn't have anyone there for me. like on the bus, the seats are in twos, and sure i felt fine sitting with everyone i did, but I didn't sit next to the same person twice as ppl moved around and it made me think if I have any friends that are permanent, that'll always be there, that i can always talk to and just hang with and muck around with. you know, best friend material. i don't have that, i don't have any real close friends. that could be because of any part of my personality but it just hurts. To think that no one out there really knows or understands you. Sure I have people I can talk to and share stuff with, but they have other main friends, and i'm like a 'side-line' friend. a friend in need is a friend indeed. haven't a clue whats that meant to mean. meh, oh well. camp was still fing AWESOME, but yeah... something I wonder about...

me talking to self this morning inside head "frances you have to get up""why do I have to get up?""so you can get out and live""live for what, live for whom?""yourself, your goals, your future""the person I don't know? the goals i don't have? the future I'll never see? I think I'll stay in bed""but there is so much more""much more stuff to pain and suffer and cry over""and to laugh and live and love""i've tried living for myself, i've tried living for others, i'm so tired of living now in a place where no one bothers""but they do, you don't want to die now, so much more here""you said that already""but its true""isn't funny how my words to myself sound so empty""its because you are empty""wait... aren't you meant to be my positive side""yeah, so get out of bed you lazy slob""ten more minutes""you better"

the fun in funerals
the laughter in manslaughter
the harm in pharmacy
the end in friends

Wednesday, June 15

more quizzila

Your word is: Confused. You have reached a stage in life where you have lost yourself completely. Identity-crisis is only the first name, and this is really depressing you. All you want is to be yourself, but how can you, when you know nothing? Others can not help in this situation, only you can find yourself again and become whole once more.

What dark word represents you? (anime pics and 7 outcomes)
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You need guidance.
You have become very confused in your life right now and are unable to make decisions that pleases you. You may resort to drastic measures as harming yourself, but the situation doesn't seem to get any better by whatever method you are using for now. There is a pain inside because of this and you feel helpless in your life, thinking you will never find your way back. But even though the path may seem dark you still try to find yourself, which means your inner battle is not over.

What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
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maybe I should give these quizzes a break... but... maybe they're just saying the words I can't form for myself... I am confused, thats the thing.... but just make it clear... I don't hurt myself....

Sunday, June 12

Light element
Your element is Light. Your heart is pure and shining with love. You believe in the goodness of those around you and give almost everyone a smile. You are not the kind to hide your happiness and tend to smile all day long, both in and out. But when sadness hits you, you become very devastated and may be upset for quite some time. What you need in your life is friends, friends who will love you unconditionally, like you love them. But you have a naive nature and don't always notice when someone is trying to hurt you. Some would say you are oblivious to mean people, which makes you an easy target. However, your true friends will probably be there for you and save you. In school you are either the popular one or the little weird one. It all depends if "the higher people" find your caring side irritating or not. Nevertheless, you have a bubbly personality and are social. Big partys may not be your thing since you want bonding time with your friends, so slumber-partys fit you more. You like the happy things in life and like everyone else to be as happy as you are.

What is your element? [with pics + 7 outcomes + detailed answeres!]
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Horray for contradictions... errr... =S
aren't I the happy chappy...
You are sad because of your grief

Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
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~*~Result nr 6~*~

Your power is: Transformation

Explanation: Unlike everyone else you can change your body materia and transform into anything (e.g. an animal). This can be used in good purposes for infiltrating evil headcuarters or adjust your physical abilities by transforming and therefor do better in battle. If turned to the evil side, a transfomer could manipulate the "good guys" by looking like their loved ones and break them down. As a person you are dissapointed with life. You have not so many interests anymore and has become depressed. Of course you can be happy, but your happiness subsides quickly and don't last very long. You isloate yourself from people since you think they would only hurt you, but some part just wants someone equal who understands the pain. When you transform it gives you freedom and you can be anything but yourself. You often pity yourself but don't let people come near and know what's going on with you. But the thought of opening up and risking being betrayed is too strong and intimidating to even try.
Negative aspects: You carry much hate to the world and yourself and in the long run this could lead to dangerous thoughts (suicide/cutting/killing) though the last one is least likeable since you would probably just
have too much guilt.

What Power is Compatible With You?
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Wednesday, June 8

Frances, you are an idiot, you treat people like shit just so they'll pay attention to you. Its not fair, its not right,
you can't just use people. Oh, this is so crap and I hate it, I wish I was someone different from the start.

yeah, well, I guess you know i've been like this for ages....

take me from this world,
cut my connections with reality,
give me hope or a dream,
of happiness, smiles and equality....

and yeah... 10 days til central, I'm excited and scared....

Am I really so alone? I hope not... I hope I wish I dream, for nothing to turn out as it seems....

Friday, June 3

dead skin

this is only a skin
it doesn't show what's within
the heart the fear the soul
the secrets and truths they hold
this isn't me
the person i wanted to be
but i don't know
if i want to show
these fears i hide
that someone'll find i'm empty inside