arg... its another day. another day where I can't find myself. Who am I? what am I? Why am I asking these questions? I know who I am, but I don't feel it. Like I know I'm never alone and someone will always be there, but I don't feel it. My heads like "what are you on about? of course you're not alone, you're never alone", and I'm like "but... I don't know... I feel alone..."
Every doubt comes from my heart and not from my head and its terrible. thats not the way it should be! I don't want a fucking doubting heart! I want doubting knowledge, not doubting faith and feelings.
I want to get off this emotional rollercoaster, I thought I could manage, but that just shows I couldn't stomach it.
bleh! *throws up*

Oh how I loathe these days,
that are tainted with dispear,
and the everlasting fear,
that I'll wake to find no one there...