some forms of movement...
*runs away*
*returns*
*jumps up and down*
*says something witty*
*sly smile*
*dance*
*looks around self-consciously*
*talks about not being able to dance well*
*flails arms and legs around to demonstate point*
*smile*
*laugh*
*hug*
*smile*
*laugh*
*hug*
*is stuck in a loop of happy giddiness, or giddy happpiness*
*smile*
*laugh*
*hug*

the hopelessness of love. i once said that hopelessness was beautiful, and now it is the opinion that saves me from giving up every time i see you. i know nothing should come of it, and that nothing will, but i love you. i don't mind that you can't do anything with that love, i would still offer it, it is as much yours as it ever could be mine. it's such a strong word, i think that's why i like it, and why i like you, so very very much. goodnight my sweet.

if this post ever goes missing, this blog may have come up in conversation with that person and i being too embarrassed to have them read it, deleted it. but maybe this paragraph is just so if anyone reads it, they will think it's not about them because if they are reading it, it means i haven't deleted it, which would mean i'm not embarrassed about them reading it, so it couldn't be about them, even if it is about them. sometimes i think i think too complicatedly. if you understood that babble, congrats! if not, it wasn't that important.
night

i can't post in colour at the moment. how unusual. maybe i'm meant to be code savvy enough to make it coloured myself by now... oh well... i think i was distracted from what i was going to say by the missing feature... hope you all had/are having a great day. power to the people, peace out.

i need a deus ex machina...

i took this test the first time on 16/9/05 (they're posted on that day too), second time round looks like i might have grown up a bit...

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 63% Stability |||||||||||| 43% Orderliness |||||||||||||||| 66% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70% Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 70% Intellectual |||||||||||||| 56% Mystical |||||||||| 36% Artistic |||||| 30% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||| 30% Materialism |||||| 23% Narcissism |||||||||||||| 56% Adventurousness |||||||||| 36% Work ethic |||||||||||||||| 70% Self absorbed |||||| 30% Conflict seeking |||||| 23% Need to dominate |||||| 30% Romantic |||||||||||||| 56% Avoidant |||||||||||||| 56% Anti-authority |||||| 30% Wealth |||||| 30% Dependency |||||||||||||||| 70% Change averse |||||||||||||||| 70% Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 70% Individuality |||||||||||| 43% Sexuality |||||||||||| 43% Peter pan complex |||||| 30% Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Physical Fitness |||||||||| 37% Histrionic |||||| 23% Paranoia |||||||||||| 43% Vanity |||| 16% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 50% Female cliche |||||||||||| 43%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

i don't want to be the type that tries to avoid a friend, but the feeling i have now says "the air is much too tense". i'm sorry you saw my change in attitude, but not as sorry as i feel for wanting to not see you. there is a healthy array of adjectives to express this sensation, but there are many more sicken which it would be wise not to mention. i'm sorry is all i have left to say... i'm such an idiot for feeling this way...

Okay, I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't - Brand New

i am heaven sent,
don't you dare forget.
i am all you've ever wanted,
what all the other boys all promised.
sorry i told. i just needed you to know.
i think in decimals and dollars.
i am the cause to all your problems,
shelter from cold. we are never alone.
coordinate brain and mouth.
then ask me whats it like to have
myself so figured out.
i wish i knew..

i hope this song starts a craze.
the kind of song that ignites the airwaves.
the kind of song that makes people glad
to be where they are,
with whoever they're there with.
this is war.
every line is about,
who i don't wanna write about anymore.
hope you come down with something
they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for.
holding on to your grudge.
oh its so hard to have someone to love.
and keeping quiet is hard.
'cause you cant keep a secret
if it never was a secret to start.
at least pretend you didn't wanna get caught...

we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.

Oh, we're so controversial.
we are entirely smooth.
we admit to the truth,
we are the best at what we do.
and these are the words you wish you wrote down.
this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
handsome and smart.
oh my tongue's the only muscle on my body
that works harder than my heart.
and its all from watching tv,
and from speeding up my breathing.
wouldnt stop if i could.
oh it hurts to be this good.
you're holding on to your grudge.
oh it hurts to always have to be honest
with the one that you love.
oh, so let it go...

we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us.

this is the grace that only we can bestow.
this is the price you pay for loss of control.
this is the break in the bend,
this is the closest of calls.
this is the reason your alone,
this is the rise and the fall.

we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe.
we're concentrating on falling apart.
we were contenders, we're throwing the fight
but i just wanna believe, i just wanna believe,
i just wanna believe, in us...

i wanted to dance with you that night. it would have fitted perfectly, embracing under the night sky, swaying as one. we wouldn't have needed music, my heartbeat could've been the congas and your sweet whisperings the lyrics. with my arms wrapped around your neck we could have slow danced around the front lawn, disturbing the fresh dew drops that glistened magically on the grass. we would've breathed in the same cool, night air, that those sleeping inside would never taste. and then, with superb romance, we'd have kissed. it would've totally knocked out my concept of time, and we would've remained that way until the rising sun reminded us of where we were. what we were. who we were. and we would've laughed and hugged and smiled and we would've been happy. i'm sure of it. well i was sure of it, but now it seems too surreal to strive for. but i can still dream....

you walk up the path with an air of purpose surrounding you and with a little bounce in your step. you are feeling 'good' for lack of a better word. the sun is shining, as it does, and birds are singing, if you call it singing, and the clouds are like wisps of gray fairy floss stretched across the sky. you wonder if gray fairy floss would taste the same as the pink variety, 'it's all sugar anyway' you think to yourself. a butterfly flutters out infront of you, it's wings beating to a rhythm you can't hear, but it makes you feel at ease imaging that even butterflies pursue a purpose. a soft breeze strokes your hair and tickles your face, it's warm but not too humid. a man on a bicycle passes you from behind, unaware of his own heavy panting over the music from his headphones he peddles onward. you pause for a second, there is a middle aged woman sitting on a bench, you examine her in the most un-stalkerish way possible. suddenly an abusive sound pierces through the tranquil park atmosphere. you jump, feeling the excitement pushing outward from your chest. the noise tears at your eardrums, but still you move forward, for we all have a purpose and you are not going to deny your own. you snatch it up in a desperate plea for survival and smash it on the ground. as you are running away, a playful grin teases the corners of your mouth, once again the world is saved from the destruction that is Mozart skewed into disgusting masses of beeps and bops.

i like your hands...