Tuesday, June 13

i've been long, a long way from here. put on a poncho, played for mosquitos, and drank til i was thristy again. we went searching through thrift store jungles. found geronimo's rifle, marilyn's shampoo and benny goodman's corset and pen.
Well, o.k. i made this up. i promised you i'd never give up...

evenin' troopers. hows life going for you? i hope its good, i hope its better than good, i hope you're enjoying yourself. are you enjoying yourself? do you really still want to be here? i for one am glad you are here, for without you i would just be ranting to myself. you deserve to be happy. its your right. but like they say in cop shows "you have to right to remain silent", you don't have to. you don't have to be happy. for some people it's really hard to be, the world is on their shoulders, nothing ever goes right and no one seems to care. i could understand reasons for not being happy and wanting everything to change but not doing anything incase it makes everything more worse. i can be happy, and i was today (i bought 5 CDs, but aside from that it was a good day). But i don't want to live here anymore. "this house is not a home"(three days grace). 'cept i can't bring myself to tell dad. what would i say? he would say "i'd like it if you spent some time here", and if i said i didn't want to then he'd be all like "i really want you here" and then act like i wasn't respecting his feelings or his opinion. i really don't like this...
hold my head in my hands and hope that someone understands. that i'm not really depressed, my happiness has just been supressed.

if it makes you happy, it can't that bad. if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad...(If It Makes You Happy - Sheryl Crow)

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