i noticed at times like these i feel about a million miles away. i never believed in me. i think its time to start.

hey there. my head kinda hurts. like its so full of questions and answers and things that have been said and things i wish i could say, that its pressing onto the walls of my skull. its throbing, i don't know whether thats my imagination or that it is actually there, but i can feel it. have you ever had that feeling? where you swear that you can feel something on your arm or leg but nothings there? it reminds me of a psychological test i thought up once. you blind fold a person them and lay them down on a bed, you then inform them that "there are ants all over the bed and its a test to see how long they can stand them crawling all over you". but there wouldn't be any ants, i wonder if the blind folded person would say there was. they have no reason to think that there isn't except that they can't feel anything, but then again, ants are very light and you may not be able to feel them anyway. i would like to know the results of such a test, it would be intresting.
do you every have those days when you just feel strange. odd. different. but theres nothing you can point directly at and say "thats whats making me feel like this". i hate those days. but i seem to be having so many.

i think i'm in love with you.

emptiness that seems to fill you. the kind of pain that shall consume you. the walls move and close in on you. think fast what would you do? right now we can't find answers. to the pain that i have caused. and wait for this world to die. so we can finally rise.(Pretty When You Cry - A Thorn For Every Heart)