ohio is for lovers

what am i doing here? i really should be finishing my oedipus essay. but you know how it is, procrastanation just creeps up on you and suddenly he's your best friend in the world... maybe only friend in the world. i feel i just insulted my friends by saying that, and they are most welcome to put the guilt trip on me, if they ever find out i said it. i'm already sorry for typing it, but honestly, why erase something thats never going to be seen? like why bother? its like that with a lot of things... a lot of the time...
half the time i feel i don't exsist to others, yeah sure i can feel brickwalls and kicks to the shins, but it's like they look over me, as if i were a short kid at the front of the queue. i just want a solid friend, that won't ask why i'd ask them over anyone else for help, that i could always hang out with, without the awkward feeling or feeling like we're smoothering each other...
maybe i just need a boyfriend...
maybe thats it...
bloody hormones