Monday, June 4

paranoia, is hunting you and all these dirty looks, well, they are right on cue. you're full up to the brim, with that "he said, she said" trash, you exist behind your keyboard and then you're gone in a flash...

after years of fighting and screaming, she gave-up. her voice hung limp over the back of the chair where she left it. she sat up in bed removing thoughts from her head and throwing them at the waste paper bin, only every third or fourth actually going in. the rest laid cold on the carpet, trembling a little, whimpering slightly in their new surroundings. once she was done she snuggled in between the covers and slept a dreamless sleep. she awoke in the morning without any memories, of who or what or where she was. so she stayed there for a couple of days in the darkness, until the thoughts on the floor grew restless and started their migration back to their owner.
she felt something on her arm and sat up, flinging it away towards the back wall. fear swept across her body and left a vile taste at the back of her mouth, she tried to yell, but her voice was not where she left it. suddenly depression sunk into her stomach, a cold, firm hand clenching her gut. pain spread through her as loneliness entered her bloodstream and tormented her tissues. but it subsided to a greater thought, parading around her head was hope, warming her body and soul, showing her the way back to her voice. the thoughts fought with each other once again, but something had changed and it was not as violent as before. they were tired and so was she, so she snuggled in between the covers of her nice, warm bed and dreamed of who she wanted to be...

(i wish i had detailed it more, feels like it moves too fast)

ten bucks says you don't have it in you, to conquer fear and quit believing what they tell you to. you are careening shamelessly into oblivion, where you will live alone with your chemicals and gin (Dutch Courage - The Spill Canvas)


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