i don't like who i've been recently. it feels like i'm watching through my eyes but i'm not really conscious to my words or my actions. i didn't used to be like this... i think. no. i know. i know i wasn't this self centred last year. i know i wouldn't have tried to make someone feel bad just because i did. i know that i would have been a better friend even if they didn't need me to be. but now... its like i've lost something. or maybe i've gained something. or maybe its just everyone else. they're so self centred themselves that its rubbing off on me. i know i would't have blamed people for my problems last year either. graaaaarrrh. i hate this, i hate me, its extremely personal.

enough of hope and hopelessness, i'm tired of more and sick of less, freeze the frame and hold it there, leave me alone, in empty despair... (a line by me)