carve your heart out yourself

carve your heart out yourself, hopelessness is your cell. since you've drawn out these lines are you protected from trying times?

its been a while since i last wrote... it feels so different now. i wonder how my friends are going on this peaceful friday night. never thought i would use "peaceful" infront of friday night. its funny really, most people talk about what they're doing friday night as if it was a huge part of the social calander, and to them it probally is. but for me, its just another night, followed by another day. no sleep in, no hangover, no throbing eardrums and no guy who happened to end up in my bed. just me. as i usually am, slightly imbalanced in mood and high on nothing. i'm no party pooper, i can enjoy myself, if i push it. but to be a party pooper you first have to be invited and then have to go, and really its not my scene. i'm probally just doing the whole "i'm so different from everyone else" even though everyone is different from everyone else in one way or another. maybe i'm just hoping that there's someone out there who doesn't like parties either and we can just waste our friday nights together. i want to do something, but i don't want to party. i guess beggars can't be choosers.
alone i remain, i wish there was someone...
don't pity me, i am better off than most, this is just my outlet

man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has, but lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all...

i'm not fragile... i'm broken...